little things in great quantities
At a recent (and my first in Israel) visit to a homeopath, a question was posed to me that made me realise that there’s an unfortunate theme in my life right now. The question was “what do you dream about?”. I knew the question was coming, because I’ve been to a homeopath before. So I’d been thinking about it already for a couple of days, and I’ve been thinking about it since … and I really couldn’t say.
What is clear is the type of dream, if not the subject-matter. I consistently dream about small problems that I can’t solve. The fact is, when I’m lying in bed trying to fall asleep at night – whether at bedtime, or in the middle of the night after waking up – I’m plagued by the same thoughts. Some of the problems that I dream about turn out not to be real, but as I’m in the twilight between sleeping and waking, I find myself still struggling with the dream-problems as if they are real problems.
As I tried to explain this to the homeopath, I realised that actually, this is my life right now: minor problems, without end, with elusive or non-existent solutions. Some of these are baby-related problems that disappear with time, others are problems – many also baby-related – that simply reoccur day after day, or minute after minute. But all of the problems share the quality of being – for me, in my current state, location, job, place in the world – unsolvable. I wonder if three drops, twice a day, for the next three weeks will fix any of this …